3 years

but it feels like yesterday that mom passed away. January 12, 2004. I will never forget that day. My heart just dropped and the tears kept coming. I didn't realize I had cried so much and for so long that day until one of the nurses said they were concerned about me and felt I might dehydrate. I never seen my dad cry so much either. Don't get me wrong, I've accepted it but I will never stop missing them. Her death was a bit of a shocker. For one whole month she fought to live in the hospital and that month was such a rollarcoaster for everyone. First it didn't look good... then it did... then it didn't... but then it did... and then she was gone. I never regret anything because I am a firm believer that things happen for a reason. But if I could, I would change some things. All the questions I have now (about marriage, kids, your spouse, buying a home... life) I would ask. I'd definitely take many more pictures with her as I realized I don't have as many as I wish I would. Spend more time with her... definitely.

Last night I had a dream. I was going to a funeral (not hers), it was raining and someone said to me, "Your mom told me all about you. She said they really need you." Not until I awoke did I realize that it's probably a message from her... only I don't know what to think of it. Who's they? Her and my dad? My brothers? The family? And why do they need me? I'm hoping for a part 2 to that dream... hopefully one with some answers.

I miss you and love you Mom... always.